Okay, let's be honest. Every December, I stare at that stack of blank Christmas cards like they're written in alien hieroglyphics. What on earth do I write? "Merry Christmas" feels lazy, but three paragraphs seem like overkill. Last year I actually googled "what to say in a christmas card" at 11pm on December 22nd. Sound familiar?
Here's what I've learned after 15 years of card-writing panic attacks: People just want to feel remembered. Not impressed, not dazzled – just genuinely remembered. That coworker who covered your shift? Your aunt who always sends fudge? They don't need poetry. They need to know you see them.
The Nuts and Bolts of Christmas Card Messages
Let's break this down without the fluff. A decent christmas card message has three simple parts:
Greeting + Personal Connection + Warm Close
That's it. Seriously. The magic happens in the middle section where you prove you didn't just mass-produce these.
For example, my neighbor Tom got this from me last year: "Tom! Thanks for shoveling my driveway that icy Tuesday – you saved my knees! Hope your new grandbaby gets all the squeaky toys she wants. Cheers to warm cocoa this season." Took 45 seconds. He still mentions it.
Christmas Card Cheat Sheet for Every Relationship
Generic messages are the worst. Here's exactly what works based on who's receiving it:
For Close Family
Be specific about a shared moment. My sister called me out once: "Why does this sound like you wrote it to your dentist?" Ouch. Now I do things like: "Remember when we burned the pies last Thanksgiving? Your laugh got me through it. Grateful for your chaos."
- Do: Mention inside jokes, gratitude, specific hopes for them
- Don't: Rehash family drama (save it for New Year's!)
- Real example: "Mom – your meatballs cured my flu AND my breakup. How do you do it? Wishing you a couch-shaped Christmas."
For Friends
My friend Emma keeps every card where I reference our "disco bowling disaster of 2018." Shared absurdity = bonding.
Friendship card table:
| Friend Type | Message Approach | Example Phrase |
|---|---|---|
| Childhood friend | Nostalgia + appreciation | "Still owe you for covering my detention slip in 10th grade..." |
| Work friend | Shared struggles + humor | "May your coffee be stronger than Karen's emails next year" |
| Long-distance pal | Missing them + future plans | "Our Zoom wine nights saved 2023. 2024: actual wine!" |
Professional Contacts
Awkward? Yes. Necessary? Unfortunately. The trick: business-appropriate warmth. My rule? No emojis, no slang, but show you see them as humans.
Bad: "Season's Greetings! May your Q1 metrics soar!" (Sounds like a bot)
Good: "John, your guidance on the Thompson project made all the difference. Wishing you peaceful moments with family this season."
When You're Stuck: 3 Emergency Message Templates
We've all been there. Deadline looming, brain empty. These saved me during my 2020 card marathon:
- The Gratitude Boost: "Getting your [annual cookies/work help/texts] this year meant more than you know. Hope 2024 treats you gently."
- The Memory Lane: "This made me think of when we [specific memory]. Still makes me laugh/cry/grateful. Cheers to more adventures!"
- The Simple & Sweet: "Just wanted you to know I appreciate having you in my world. Wishing you cozy moments ahead."
My cousin Mike got template #3 last year. He texted: "Got your card. Needed that today." Proof that short > insincere.
Signing Off Without Sounding Like a Hallmark Reject
The closing tripwire. "Warmly"? "Blessings"? Ugh. Match the closeness level:
| Closeness Level | Safe Options | Avoid Like Fruitcake |
|---|---|---|
| Family/Close Friends | Love, XOXO, Cheers | "Yule Tidings" (unless you're a Dickens character) |
| Casual Friends | Warmly, Happy Holidays, Take care | "Fondly" (sounds like a breakup) |
| Professional | Best wishes, Happy Holidays, Regards | "Peace on Earth" (too grand) |
Top 5 Christmas Card Mistakes You're Probably Making
I've committed all these. Learn from my cringe:
- Over-Poeticizing: "As the jingle bells chime under moonlit snow..." Stop. Nobody talks like this.
- The Novel: Cards aren't holiday newsletters. If it needs paragraphs, send an email.
- Generic Compliments: "You're amazing!" feels hollow. "You handled Dave's meltdown with grace" lands.
- Ignoring Tough Years: Lost job? Divorce? Acknowledge it: "This year tested you. Admiring your strength."
- Forgetting You: Signed just "The Smiths"? Always add your name. Always.
Handwriting vs. Printed: The Great Debate
Look. If your handwriting looks like a seismograph reading (mine does), printing is fine. My grandma disagrees: "It's not personal without ink smudges!" Compromise: Handwrite the name and sign, print the message. The personal flourish matters more than perfection.
Pro tip: Keep a spreadsheet. Note kid's names, last year's message ("mentioned his promotion"), and pet details. Lifesaver for 50+ cards.
What to Say in a Christmas Card FAQ
How long should a christmas card message be?
3-5 sentences is the sweet spot. Enough to be personal, short enough to actually get written.
Should I mention religion?
Know your audience. My Jewish boss gets "Happy Holidays," my pastor uncle gets "Christmas blessings." When in doubt, skip it.
What if I hate the person but have to send a card?
Ah, obligatory cards. The bare minimum: "Wishing you a peaceful holiday season." Neutral territory.
Can I reuse last year's message?
Only if you change one thing. My aunt caught me recycling 2018's message verbatim. Mortifying. Add something current!
Is it weird to send cards to people I see daily?
Not if your message is thoughtful. My deskmate teared up when I wrote: "Thanks for always sharing your Advil."
Personal Touch Weapons Grade Tips
Bombproof ways to avoid generic what to say in a christmas card paralysis:
- Reference Their Actual Life: "Hope little Chloe loves her first sled!" (Not just "Merry Christmas")
- Use Their Love Language: For my gift-loving friend: "Can't wait to see your insane light display!" For my quality-time sister: "Save me a spot on the couch Christmas Eve."
- Add Physical Details: Tuck in a tea bag ("For post-shopping chaos"), or doodle their dog in the corner.
Last December, I wrote "P.S. Your lasagna is still legendary" to my stoic neighbor. He left homemade lasagna on my porch. Worth the 5 extra seconds.
When Words Fail (And They Will)
Some years are brutal. Loss. Illness. Divorce. What to say in a christmas card then? Honesty trumps cheer:
"This season feels heavy for you. I'm holding you in my thoughts."
"Missing [name] extra hard this year with you."
"No festive words, just love."
When my dad died, the cards pretending nothing happened hurt. The ones acknowledging the elephant in the room? Lifelines.
Your Christmas Card Survival Kit
Before you write, gather:
- A recent photo of them (memory jogger)
- Your phone photos from last year ("Oh right, we went kayaking!")
- One concrete thing they did for you (babysat, gave advice, made you laugh)
Set a timer. 3 minutes per card max. Pour eggnog. Play awful Christmas music. Make it a ritual, not a chore.
Ultimately, figuring out what to say in a christmas card comes down to this: Be briefly, warmly human. They won't remember your calligraphy. They'll remember you noticed their existence in a noisy world. And that beats perfect prose every time.
Now pass me a pen. I've got cards to write.
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